Maybe like my coaching client Penny you believe that adults are not supposed to play. Penny was an entrepreneur starting her first business when I met her. She was putting in 12 to 14 hours a day at her office and bringing work home also. Penny believed that if she just worked hard enough and put in enough effort soon her business would be blooming and she could take off that much needed time to enjoy life. But she was going on year three and though she felt her business had grown substantially she was still putting in long hours.
After listening to her story I asked Penny why she wanted to go into business for herself. “I wanted more control” she replied. Then laughing she went on to say, “I had a boss who was always giving me projects that had to be done right when I was getting ready to leave for the day. I wanted control over my time. Now look at me, my new boss is even more demanding”.
“So play hooky” I said. Oh I couldn’t Penny replied. What would people think? My clients might need me and if I am not available they may go somewhere else. This is a common fear for anyone in business for themselves. Penny’s mind was running away with all of the “oughta’s” in her life. I oughta do this, I oughta do that. She had forgotten what she wanted and why she had gone into business for herself anyway.
So Penny’s homework was to play hooky for one day. No phone calls, no emails. She was instructed to go to a park by herself and swing, fly a kite or do what ever else she used to like to do as a child. The first few hours were tough she admitted, she desperately wanted to check in with the office to see how things were going. She felt guilty having missed a valuable networking meeting and wondered if she missed out on any new business. About halfway through the day however as she was flying her kite she began to relax and actually felt a smile creep up on her face. It had been too long since she smiled like that, you know that genuine smile that comes from deep inside and spreads across your face and then flows throughout your body. It felt good!
After a while Penny pulled the kite down and just lied down in the clover and watched the clouds, noticing the shapes they move in and out of. She was so relaxed and had finally let go of all thoughts of her business. Then out of the blue an idea came to Penny. Why didn’t I think of this before, she wondered. Penny had an idea of how to attract more clients with less work on her part.
By moving into this relaxed state, Penny was able to see a solution that before had been clouded by her “oughta’s” . In the bestselling book, The Breakout Principle, Dr. Herbert Benson and William Proctor talk about the 4 stages that encompass the breakout principle. The process begins with hard mental or physical struggle. This is where Penny was when she came to see me.
The second stage involves “letting go”, “backing off” or releasing your mind from the hard work mode. This is when Penny began to play and started to “forget” about her work. According to the authors, the most important charteristic of this second stage is that you must completely sever prior thought and emotional patterns.
They further state that The Breakout will always be accompanied by a greater sense of well being and relaxation. This new unstressed mindset will often lead to peak experiences in the third stage such as the creative insight Penny experienced.
Finally, the authors conclude the 4th stage is a “new normal” state- including ongoing improved performance and mind body patterns.
So now tell me, can you really afford not to play!
No comments:
Post a Comment